English

My journey into antifragility

I have been thinking. It’s been a process, and I am still in it. However I feel I have made a tremendous progress.

            I am a Mother of a two and a half year old lovely little girl. She is my coach, she is my mentor, she is my Guru. With her help I am slowly but surely change. I slowly but surely reconcour part of myself which rested in the unknown until now.

            I have to admit it’s been the most challenging journey of my life. This one is.

Looking back each stage of this journey I find something which made me more confident, more open, more loving and the same time more vulnerable. What is different now is: that I see this vulnerability as my fuel, I use this vulnerability to build upon and not swept by it. Yes I am sensitive but also I have strength for two. I have found my inner resources.

I have met my Shadow. That part of myself which was in my own underworld. Through becoming a Mother, through my everyday interactions with my little one, through all challenges which I have faced so far, like a huge ice cape my unwanted and rejected part of psyche started to reveal itself.

Uncertainty and constant change shapes my inner and outer world. But after a lot of struggle, finally I am in a forward motion, I keep growing my roots toward my core with more self-compassion and self-love.

These days I am in a process of finding my true voice, my authenticity, with more and more ease because I have surrendered to this process of becoming. Of course I have good days, and not so good ones like everyone else.  

These days I understand I am in a quest of redefine what my values are. I regain a new understanding of my self worth and with that, I ease into a more robust, more heroic version of myself.

I learnt more about my self-care needs. I accept myself more fully. I use my days well, as I have only this one left. I have no regreats in the end of each day. Instead focusing on my mistakes I give gratitude and this attitude changes everything.

            I have a deep commitment toward growth.

I am a Mother. I am a Teacher. I am a Protector. I am a Life-long learner.